Somalilandsun – Once the two spouses prepare themselves physically and psychologically for sexual intercourse (by brushing their teeth, taking shower, and treating themselves with perfumes), they must observe or follow the Islamic sexual ethics before doing any sexual foreplay or engaging in actual intercourse. The rules of ethics to follow include:
● Privacy of Intercourse: It is extremely important that the spouses understand that sexual act engagement is a private, secret moment for them and must ensure that they are alone when engaging in sexual relations, especially during foreplay and actual intercourse. The couple must also ensure that they protect themselves from glances, peeking, and gazes of others including children.
The door of the room must be closed and locked so that no one enters upon the couple. Windows should be shut with curtains fully and properly drawn so that no one including the neighbors is able to see them. Islam totally rejects and, at the same time, condemns exposing or displaying sexual acts in front of others regarding it shameful and sinful. It is an Islamic obligation to conceal one’s nakedness in front of others. It is absolutely unlawful as well as sinful to have intercourse in public places with the possibility of being seen by others.
● Avoiding Noises or Concealing Voices: It is important that the couple hides or conceals their voices during foreplay or intercourse so that others do not hear them. Both husband and wife should avoid making any noises during sexual intercourse that could be heard by other people. It is one of the Islamic ethical rules (Sexual etiquettes) that the couple avoids or refrains from excessive talking while they are engaged in sexual foreplay or intercourse.
Talking during actual intercourse is disliked in Islam because sexual union is concealed act which is considered private. As it is disliked (makruh) to talk in the bathroom, it is disliked too to talk during sexual performance. Imam Shafi and Imam Hanafi state that the couple can talk provided it is not heard outside. The couple can have talk that is concealed from others but confined to themselves.
● No Two Wives in The Same Room: If a man has more than one wife, it is unlawful for him to have foreplay or intercourse with one wife in the presence of the other and in the same room even if both of them give consent to him. The first reason is that it is not permissible in Islam for a woman to look at the nakedness (awrah) of another woman even if she is her co-wife.
Abdur-Rahman, the son of Abu Sa’ad Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with both) reported from his father: The Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “A man should not see the private parts of another man, and a woman should not see the private parts of another woman, and a man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering.” [Source of Hadith: Sahih Muslim].
Abdur-Rahman Bin Abu Sa’ad Al-Khudri narrated from his father also who said:
The Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No woman should look at the nakedness of another woman, and no man should look at the nakedness of another man.” [Source of Hadith: Sunan Ibn Majah].
Another reason is that sexual engagement is to be private between the two persons involved as Islam prohibits the husband and wife from discussing their sexual encounter with others. Revealing secrets of sexual intercourse to a third person is unlawful, immoral, and sinful in Islam. It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life. Indeed, this is one of the most evil things that could be disclosed by either.
Abu Sa’ad Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated: Allah’s Messenger (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him? said: “The most evil of people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Judgment is a man who has sexual intercourse with his wife and she has it with him, then one of them reveals the bed secret.” [Source of Hadith: Sahih Muslim].
Asma Bint Yazid (May Allah be pleased with her) reported that she was with the Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (P.B.U.H) asked: “Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband?” The people remained silent and did not answer. I (Asma) said: “Yes, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah! They (women) do that, and they (men) do that.” He (P.B.U.H) said: “Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching.” [Source of Hadith: Sunan Abu Dawud].
● Keeping Away From Children: It is prohibited in Islam to have intercourse in front of small children who have reached the age of recognizing things and who have sense of understanding of what is happening in front of them but not reaching the age of puberty yet. Some parents are very reckless for doing sexual acts in front of their small children. Islam prohibits displaying intercourse and other sexual acts
such as kissing or caressing before others including young children.
The parents have three (3) times of privacy which are: Early morning, midday, and late evening. These times are considered as times of privacy for parents. The minor children should be taught by parents that during times of privacy, they are not allowed to enter the bedroom of their parents without first asking for their permission. Being minor does not mean infants; it is meant the children who can understand what is right and what is wrong and it is usually around the age of four or five (4 or 5) and above.
Allah (Most High, Glorious is He) says: “O you who believe!, let those whom your right hands possess, and those (children) among you who have not reached the age of puberty ask your permission (before entering your bedroom) on three occasions: Before the dawn prayer (Fajr), and while you put off your clothes at midday (for rest), and after the night prayer (Isha). These are your three times of privacy for you (parents). Outside those times, there is no blame on you or them to move about
attending to each other: Thus does Allah make clear the Verses (Aayaat) to you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise. [Surat An-Nur, Verse: 58].
As for the mature children and adults that reach the age of puberty or older, the act of sexual display in front of them becomes sinful. So, they are not allowed to enter their parents’ bedroom anytime without requesting for parental permission.
Allah (Most High, Glorious is He) says: “And when the children among you
come to puberty, then let them ask for permission (at all times), as those before them have done (in age). Thus Allah makes clear His Verses (Aayaat) for you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.” [Surat An-Nur, Verse: 59].
Parents displaying sexual acts in the presence of their small children make grave mistake. Parents are wrong in believing that their children are too young to understand such matters while that is not, in fact, the case and could have negative effect on their upbringing. For having children created with natural instinct, they copy or imitate their parents in their daily life activities. It is also contrary to Islamic morality, modesty, and decency to perform sexual acts in front of
● Avoiding Making Photos of Spouses’ Nudity: It is also forbidden in Islam taking nude pictures of one’s spouse during sexual relations and then looking at the pictures or keeping them as this could have devastation to one’s life. The Sexual pictures, though unlawful, of spouses could be lost or misplaced and then found by another person or stranger. If these naked photos of the spouses (possibly parents) are displayed on Internet as videos, the reaction of people including children and relatives would be shocking with irreversible shame and embarrassment in life. If the naked photos are in secure place and all precautions are taken, which is wrong in the first place to take nude photos, the possibility is that someone will see them who could tell it to another person. It is important to prevent an evil act before it happens and that prevention is to avoid taking naked pictures at all because it is wrong in Islam.
● Covering up the Noble Qur’an: One of the Islamic ethics of sexual intercourse is to cover up The Noble Qur’an or put it into drawers. There is no sin involved in it but it is appropriate and good to be respectful to The Noble Qur’an. It is also one of the Islamic ethics to avoid facing the Qibla during sexual union because the nakedness of the spouses is usually unconcealed or exposed in this situation. Ancient and present Islamic Scholars and Islamic Jurists agree that one should not face the Qibla while having sexual union. It is not sin but somewhat disliked in Islam.
Ibrahim Hassan Gagale
Date: March 31, 2015
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Wanaagga Nolosha Islaamka: Guurka, Qoyska, iyo Xidhiidhka Galmada waa buug cusub oo ah tarjumaadda Islamic Golden Book, oo uu turjumay isla qoraaga Ibrahim Hassan Gagale, waxaanu soo baxayaa Xagaagga (In Shaa Allaah Bisha May ama June 2015), waxaana laga helayaa isna mareegaha caalamiga ah ee kor ku xusan.
By: Ibrahim Mohammed